You do? YOU DO. INTERESTING.
Melanie, Rachel, Brian. Maybe you've forgotten, or maybe you are unaware, of the one time I almost burnt down my apartment.
It all started one lazy afternoon, when I was still living with Rachel in Cary. I decided to boil some water for pasta. While the water was boiling, I decided I should probably do some light cleaning. Then, I got a phone call from Amy Pyles! She wanted to eat dinner with me! How exciting. I WAS feeling quite hungry. Would she want to go now? I feel like I am forgetting something...but, it must not be TOO important! Let's go!
Dinner with Amy was SO MUCH FUN. We went to Two Guys, I think, and I ordered lasagna, I think. I ate until I thought I might start oozing (poop), and still had leftovers for another meal. This was really turning into the perfect day. Can anyone think of anything more perfect than sleeping until 4 and then eating lasagna? I sure can't. Anyway......
OH MY GOD I LEFT THE STOVE ON.
I have been "boiling water" for over two hours. I rush to put my leftovers in a to-go box (what? Give up leftover lasagna for a potential fire? COME ON), pay, and drive quickly home, praying that my apartment is still there.
Lucky for me, it is. I rush inside and the pot is glowing BRIGHT RED. ALL OVER. I run over and turn the stove off, move the pot off the burner, and - I am no pot anatomy expert but the metal insides of the pot have melted and are oozing out all over the stove top. EW! But..neat!
It's true that I didn't ACTUALLY burn my apartment down, and everything turned out mostly okay, especially since the pot I ruined was Rachel's, not mine. But I'm pretty sure I win this round because general suckiness seems to be based on two things - the edibility of the result and the danger level of the situation. I almost burnt my apartment down AND I had nothing to show for it. Not even the water that I started with. NOTHING.
The end.
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4 comments:
So... funny story... YOU SO NEVER EVER TOLD ME THAT THIS HAPPENED.
Are you serious???? I mean, you definitely mentioned leaving a pot boiling for too long, but never any of the "wow, I hope you have renter's insurance" part.
I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU!!! Ok, I can, but if you were anyone else, I WOULDN'T BELIEVE YOU.
I DO remember you trying to deep fry plantains (seriously? weird.) and setting the stove on fire.
... how are we still alive?
Your entries are always the best. I laughed and laughed at this, especially this part:
But I'm pretty sure I win this round because general suckiness seems to be based on two things - the edibleness of the result and the danger level of the situation. I almost burnt my apartment down AND I had nothing to show for it. Not even the water that I started with. NOTHING.
<3 EMILY
Rachel - I TOTALLY TOLD YOU THIS STORY. I'm pretty sure I also promised to buy you a new pot, which I never did. I should order one for you and have it shipped! Wouldn't that be exciting?
Melanie - I enjoyed your salmon story, too!
I have heard this story before but still laughed hysterically through the whole thing!
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