Salmon of Death

I know nothing of Google's search algorithms (and the only reason I moved to Mountain View was because I heard they tell all residents their secret formula!!), but I think it's pretty exciting then when i do a search for "but i suck at cooking," this blog is still the first one to pop up.

So to continue our competition of trying to one-up each other in increasingly horrible food stories .... you may have messed up the recipe, but did you almost give yourself and your boyfriend FOOD POISONING?

For background, when Martin and I were in Sweden, we ate a crap-ton of salmon. I thought it was smoked salmon. Martin never corrected me. It's actually salt-cured salmon and it's known as gravlax or gravadlax. Basically, you brine a bunch of salmon for 36+ hours and then eat it. I ate so much of this salmon while we were there, I could barely tolerate the smell of salmon for the next year.

As I was reading my food blogs, I came across a recipe on how to make it. Perfect, I thought! Martin and his Swede-y McSwedeness will love this!

I brined up my salmon and followed all the directions. Then I sat back to let it do its salt and water transfer thing that it so likes to do. Last night, we cut into it for dinner. The texture was buttery smooth, just as I remembered.

The stabbing pains in the pit of my stomach was not.

I don't know if I really gave us food poisoning (Martin never complained but then - Martin never does). And I don't know how much of it was me psychologically wigging out, worrying I'd somehow made the gravadlax wrong. But my stomach was definitely protesting.

And that is that.

BEAT THAT RACHEL.

Just kidding. :) Brownies almost exploding in your face is definitely ftw.